| TYPE OF CHILDREN |
|
1:
Introduction |
This is not written to make a psychological profile on a player. Because
a child meet some of the criteria's it is not synonymous with the fact that the
correct diagnose has been made. Only a trained psychologist can make a diagnose.
This is written in order to give the trainer some hints why a player acts the way
he/she does and better understand why.
1: Introduction
to the top
"You coach your players alike if you coach
them differently"
As more and more quite young people not only go in for sport
but almost devote their life to sport, the need for relevant coaching grows more
and more important.
Often especially the youngest years are left to the most
inexperienced trainers, who seldom have had the time to acquire the needed background
knowledge to help the children to withstand the pressure in a sports world with
growing importance for most peoples life.
Children are in the psychological aspect
not small grown-ups. They think, experience and act differently and must therefore
be coached in a different way, and they must be trained physical in another way
as well, because they are not grown-ups. However there are some points of resemblance
between children and grown-ups.
There are some aspects the trainers, who deals
with children, must have in the back of his mind, when he works with them in the
present society. You meet many types on the way, and it is an advantage to know
a little about why they react as they do.
The below mentioned is not the total
truth, but can be used as an indicator why the children feels, thinks, experience
and react as they do.
But the trainer must not behave as a hypochondriac, who
defines a sneeze as a sign of a serious sickness. Just because a child shows one
or more indications to a certain reaction type it does not mean that you have the
diagnose and call the parents, that their child is Emotional unstable. Only a fully
trained psychologist can make the correct diagnose and help the child to come to
terms.
2: Identity weak children
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In a life, which only gives a few possibilities
to mark oneself positively and active but instead gives a lot of possibilities for
passive activities, i.e. TV, video, PC games etc. it can be difficult to find out
who you really are, what you can and cannot, and how to deal with a number of situations.
The fear and insecurity be reflected in many reactions, which especially appears
in pressure- and competition situations. One of the most common ways to react is
to play tough, often combined with a negative "boo - bah" attitude "I will be too
vulnerable, if I attended positively to something or actually took on a responsibility,
so therefore I will rather criticize the others, their dress, look etc. Then I can
rise above the others on their expense."
Another way to react is, that the fear
is so dominating, that the children do not dare to participate in any form of competition,
even if they train as maniacs. They give up, almost before they have started and
are easily broken down because of a little disappointment. Therefore they seek the
trainers support and accept. Their message seems to be all the time: "Tell me that
I am all right."
An identity weak child almost demands an authority in the trainer
in order to feel secure.
3: Dependent children
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Some children are dependent and make themselves dependent on others. They don't
like to make demands to those, they depend on and feel helpless, when they are alone.
Important decisions are handed over to others and they submit to their decisions.
Typical indications of a dependent child:
The person:
- has difficulty
in making independent decisions.
- has a tendency in submitting to other persons.
- has difficulty in making demands to other people, it depends to.
- feels helpless
when left alone.
- is afraid that he/she cannot do things alone
- is afraid to
be left back.
- has difficulty in making everyday discussions without support
from others.
4: Stressed, confused children
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Because the possibilities in the children's
every day life are so many and the every day is so divided up and further more we
grown ups are so busy and stressed, the children also easily get confused and stressed
and they will demand that the trainer has a great focus on them and entertains them
all the time. Otherwise they will scurry around run around apparently unable to
concentrate on the same thing for even a short time.
5: Emotional unstable children
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There are 2 types of emotional unstable children.
There is the impulsive type and the borderline-type.
The impulsive type has problems
controlling her impulses and feelings and the borderline-type has in addition problems
to keep a close relationship with others. The relationships get so intense, but
unstable and she has a tendency of splitting which means that she shifts between
very positive and very negative feelings towards others.
Typical indications
of emotional unstable children.
The person:
- has a tendency to do impulsive
and ill-considered things.
- react easily emotionally and explosive.
- often
has to abandon the project, she has started.
- has a fluctuating and unstable
spirit.
- has a feeling of emptiness inside
- has a lack of feeling for her
own identity.
- has no stable opinions and attitudes
- does everything possible
in order not to be alone.
- has a tendency to do things, which can be harmful,
for example her own health.
- has a problem in keeping a relation to others.
- has had so-called micro-psychoses, that is hallucinations and delusions which
only last for a few minutes.
- has thoughts of committing suicide.
6: Anti-social children
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Many children have only few or no brothers
and sisters and are therefore used to get grown-up contact and grown-up attention
rather easily. And they are unable to understand that other children have the same
need and therefore have to wait for their turn. Because of this a trainer does not
get many minutes alone and must all the time take care of such children.
7: Dyssocial children
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Here we have children, who have difficulty
in feeling sense of guilt. They have problems with social obligations and duties
and they act indifferent or callously towards others. They are easily frustrated,
aggressive or violent and have a tendency of blaming others. The negative consequences
of their actions are explained away.
Typical indications of dissocial children.
The person:
- doesn't care about others feelings.
- don't have the feeling
of responsibility and don't feel obligated to for example her team.
- has difficulty
in keeping relations to others.
- becomes easily frustrated and react on these
frustrations by being angry and aggressive.
- don't feel guilt towards others,
which has been hurt by the person.
- cannot learn from own mistakes, not even
if punished.
- has a tendency to blame others for problems and explain away own
mistakes.
8: Narcissistic possessed model children
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These children feel themselves quite special.
One of the greatest dangers the trainer can meet and is caused by parents, who have
great ambitions on behalf of their children. The parents possess the children with
their own wishes and ambitions, which they hope can be realized through the children.
This influence may develop so that the child feels that he/she is quite special and must
be in the centre of interest. If they don't fell themselves in the centre, they get angry, and
if they are criticized, they react negatively. After all they have been told at
home that they are very special and have great possibilities.
Normally they are paced so violently that they "tops" at the age of 13 - 14, and then stops totally and in fact are burned out. They have never developed their own personality and are therefore unable to stand on their own feet and make decisions. And that is, after all, a necessity in the sports world for a top athlete. It can be incredible difficult to discover the children's own ambitions and wishes as they are covered by the parents ambitions. But a good indicator for the extent of the pressure from the homeland is to study the children's reactions and behavior, when the parents are attending a training session or a match, in relation to a training lesson or match, where the parents are not present.
The trainer himself is also able to influence the children, and must take care, that they don't get reduced to pawns in his own ambitious game.
Typical indications of narcissistic.
The person:
- has an exaggerated feeling
of being very important.
- is absorbed with the idea of getting unlimited success,
power and love.
- thinks she is special and unique and can only be understood
by other special or unique persons with high status.
- needs unlimited admiration.
- has an unrealistic expectation to be treated better than others.
- uses others
to reach own goals.
- is not good in acknowledging others feelings or goals.
- is often envious over others or thing others are envious on the person herself.
- has an arrogant or contemptuous attitude.
9: Schizophrenic children
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These children withdraw from emotional and social contact
with others, because they are afraid to be refused. They need to be alone with themselves
and finds often an interest, on which they can spend a lot of time, so that they
can work alone.
You won't find many of these in handball, as handball is a
team sport.
Typical indications of schizophrenia:
The person:
- doesn't care about
having friends or confidant.
- has difficulty in expressing feelings.
- don't
care whether they get criticism or praise.
- has a bad sense of occasion.
- is occupied with fantasies and inward-looking thoughts
- is reserved, dissociated,
sad and indifferent.
10: Paranoid children to the top
These children are distrustful and have mistrust of others. They are sensitive to defeats and react easily with anger and rejection, if something goes against them. As a rule they don't think, that there is anything wrong with them, but that it is the others who are wrong or are the cause if problems occur. They can also feel themselves better and more talented than most others. They emphasize to be independent of others and feel comfortable when they can decide themselves.
Typical indications of paranoid children:
The person:
- is very sensitive
to defeat and rejections.
- has a tendency to hold a grudge.
- is distrustful.
- has a tendency to misinterpret others intentions.
- put a great importance
to prove he/she is right in a discussion.
- becomes easily jealous.
- has a thought
that they are rather important.
- has a feeling that other are talking about
him/her.
- is occupied with the thought that others are making plots against
them.
11: Fighter children to the top
Some children try to overcome their insecurity and fear by all the time to find the boundaries of the grown-ups patience and strength.
"How far can I go, before the grown-up interferes?" seems to be their thoughts. Very fast they get used to enter an endless power game with their surroundings, where they only can get confirmation on themselves through others despair and powerlessness.
Even if they sometime are pure angels and completely innocent, they usually demands incredible mush attention from the trainer and drain his energy. And they cannot just be ignored, because then they create tomfooleries, which then means, that the grown-up must interfere.
At the same time they subdues the other children and demands privileges.
It might sound rather tough, but one has to remember, that their background actually is insecurity, maybe because the parents have had difficulties in being pursuers an make the necessary boundaries
Besides the children's power game and warrior behavior is a reflection of parts of the grown-ups own world.
12: Timid personality disturbance to the top
Children with timid personality disturbance are nervous, tense and insecure. They feel themselves inferior and have a great need for recognition. They are over-sensitive of refusal and criticism and avoid to make connections to other people as they don' risk refusal.
Typical indications of timid personality disturbance
The person:
- is very shy.
- suffers from inferiority feeling.
- is
very sensitive against refusals.
- is afraid to become embarrassed among other
people.
- feels inhibited.
- has difficulty to get close to other people,
because the risk of being ashamed of own bashfulness.
- avoid involving with
others, if there is no certainty that she is welcome.
- is tense, anxious and
nervous that something dangerous will happen to one self or closest persons.
As I said from the start - these are indications you can be aware
of.